Tag Archives: life

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  I woke up and 

Placed myself in front of the mirror

That carefully detailed my features

The face, the eyes, the nose, the lips and my hands

My spotted skin, few scars and freckles

My smile with teeth not visibly bright; few lost

My natural  silver hair ,Few black dyed and artificial

They say my  skin, thin and pale; loose and sagged breast.

I call it elasticity with

channels of blue nerves visible and

Every  year the invisible artist sculpts

What people called wrinkles on my face

But I call them dimples

My eyes recently got rid of that cataract still nothing changed

 And the power keeps on  increasing

The skin isn’t the same like it was when my mother first breast-fed me.

That change is just permanent

My lips  is forever sucked in. I find this a little weird,  funny as my ears too droops. 

But do not worry

Oh! it’s the gravity that has pulled it down.

No more does the blood river within me flows

The ascending years have mutated me

In a beautiful way. Still I am me the same person with my story unchanged.

I did not worry like the evil queen in Snow White and the seven dwarfs

Even when my mirror spoke and showed me the glimpses of my future days

Instead I was happy because 

He who created me is an Artist and I myself his Art.

Having consumed so much of this Earth

I will still have nothing to repay her back

Except after my death,my decomposed self

Ready to merge with her;

 Still ready and willing to turn each page

Thank God! you never age…

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/measure/

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DEAR LIFE (never let yourself go)

The bundled pain might prick you

So very bitter and unhealthy

For your heart or for your body.

They might ache more than

The fresh burns you just had

You might apply a band-aid

But that proper medicine

Is an undiscovered priority.

Your closed bedroom,the locked heart

Is all  rusted with

Heaps of untold secrets…

Even those silent sobs

Your quilt cannot cover

Neither that door.

Afraid that the sound might penetrate

All you are left is with screams,

Screams that are louder than the roars

Visibly audible only to your ears.

Nights growing more cruel than the days

Your mom may bid you goodnight

But your sleep have boarded  the flight

Leaving you with an inevitable depression

A nocturnal animal you have become.

So no one except your dog can understand .

Handcuffed by these inescapable pains

Even your skin have grown pale and purple

Because they have stayed stagnant

Like erupted drops of blood , freshly clotted

Why don’t you let them flow?

Deep within they remain forever cloistered.

Why don’t you let them go?

When it has become that pernicious parasite,

Burning and eating you alive.

Do you simply want to turn into ashes?

like that piece of paper (I see there is something written on it);

or that wood (it provided shelter to many);

or that ragged cloth? that warmed those bare skin.

You might feel like

Befriending that rope

And welcome the untimely death.

But simply perishing away

With a marble tomb behind,

Is not an option to embrace.

Better  embark on this mysterious journey

With the seed of purpose that is yet to blossom.

Why be that treacherous villain? a murderer of thy self?

For whom every punishment is worthless.

Look back in time

See how much you have earned. I mean not money

But the glorious wealth-friends,families.

So ending this sweet-salty life is that option

Not even an abandoned on the streets would dare take.

Life is so very valuable

Not even that famous Kohinoor can buy
So better dance your pain out

singing  and accepting the rhythm of moments.

Remember? how we all have danced

To that childhood rhyme:

“Ring A Ring O’Roses

A Pocket Full of Posies

A-Tishoo! A-Tishoo!

We All fall down”

But we all have stood up,

Forgetting the falling pains

See the best ailment is to laugh.

So my dear friend

Never fall prey to suicide

Better unstich the patterned pains

That so long have bruised

Your submerged universe.

Unlocking that rusted chambers

Be like that swift  river always flowing,

Undisturbed from the mountains ,hills

Valleys , deserts and plains

Sometimes meandering

Until they become ocean silent…

Life offers us with million colours of pleasures and pain

And in its varied flavours ,

We  have so much to gain.

-P.R.

Continue reading DEAR LIFE (never let yourself go)

Grace

​Gravity never pulled me down

It always lifted me up

That is why

Even when you

Plucked all my feathers

And blood oozed

I could still swim in the air.

This is not the end

They shot me with words

Disturbing my flow

I ate them

Carefully swallowing

As they corroded my throat

But I didn’t think of atom bomb

Instead alchemized

Those words

Into festoons of poems

Showering them with

Soothing songs

Just to heal their soul.

©P.R

This is my first time poetry in voice. I shared the video of this poem,myself reading it and I got a good response from my friends in facebook. With a positive heart,I am sharing this with all my wordpress friends.

Click on the link below to hear me reading my poem

https://youtu.be/oxmSaHeC4Yw

Tremble

The Sunshine Blog Award

image

Life brings so many meanders and spurs for you to cross and move beyond and that is life. It has been a week  since I got down from the vehicle of wordpress and drowned myself in a huge tsunami trying to escape. It passed and then left me along with my family in a calm quite atmosphere but with a crater ,void and empty.
My father’s uncle,our grandpa, befriended death. See, death makes eternal friends or even marries beautiful women,never to get divorced and yes! Death takes no dowry either. He is so mighty,all powerful and what not? He has a huge heart,rooms for many passed and rooms still being built for us.
I wonder how my room looks like.
I took so long a holiday from my blog because I was crossing one of the hilly spurs of my life and I didn’t have time exclusively for myself to type and arrange my thoughts.
In such a claustrophobic situation the nomination for Sunshine Blog Award did put a smile on my face and I hugely thank my friend The Cliffanger Chronicle ( http://cliffangerchronicle.wordpress.com) for nominating me. You have no Idea how only the nomination made me happy and I am honoured to the fullest.
I do not know if its appropriate for me to publish this post after such a long gap. But now when I have time for myself, I want to reply to the questions put forward by my friend and below are my answers to the respective questions.

1. Your favourite colour.
Life is a flux ,mortality and mutability being its only constant and permanent part. Likewise my love for colours changed considerably with Time.
When we were kids our favourite colour changed within days or weeks. You see a new unique colour and that would become your favorite.
But we are brought up watching cartoons and the mixture of such splendid colours gravitated us towards it. Still do we see children and even adults being so engrossed while watching cartoons or animations. It is colours that are so rich and vibrant and this is not only in the virtual world but in the Nature itself with her mesmerising colours and her incomparable beauty from where the virtual world takes its cue and edits a bit, like wrapping a gift.

I already mentioned my love for colour changed. Of course it did. Let us go back to our school days, when this question is encountered frequently. Choices are many and you have to pick one, being careful that your friend do not have the same  as yours and you also need to have a perfect explanation as to why it is your favourite.
But we never did stick ourselves to one particular colour and after a month we would forget our last favourite colour.
I remember how my friends picked Blue as their favourite because the sky was blue and so on. My choice then was Green because I loved nature and the trees. But then one particular day in Kolkata there was a man who asked me this very question and I smartly replied my favorite color to be green. And then he said, “well I am not offending you but for Shakespeare  green means jealous. ”
This really made me sad and I thought twice before enlisting green as one of my favorite colours.But I could never dislike green when my house is surrounded with green trees and hills. The green forest beside, the fresh grass of our garden. Ah! I never can forget their fresh rain soaked smell. And the dew drops or even the raindrops collected in the leaves like silver pearl beads making them look even more beautiful.

Related to colour I can never forget my childhood days when jaundice visited me and the Doctor’s advice to avoid yellow was followed earnestly . For many years I avoided the colour thinking myself to be jaundiced.
But the yellow marigolds that blooms and brings in the air of festivity during the month of October never ceased to attract my eyes.

I have a close association with Orange because I have grown up with the orange trees in our orchard.Some are of my father’s age, some even older than him, some are of my age and others are still younger and growing, all so very taller than me. Each winter, they bless us with big rich round pulpy oranges and when we were kids we would spend the whole day in the orchard and very often we skipped our lunch.

Blue how can I forget you – the vast blue sky is itself a magic. God has really been careful when choosing the colour. The blue sky is such a relief and soothing to our eyes and the white fluffy clouds in motion are the special effects. It is like the invisible painter constantly painting in the blue canvas.
I just love the amalgamation of colours in the morning when the sun rises and in the evening just after the sun sets and in our hills people usually come outside their verandas or balconies with hot refreshing tea just to watch the first show when the curtain slowly opens and the bright fascinating mixture of golden yellow,orange and red slowly kisses and illuminates the grey sky and then crowns the snow clad Kanchenjunga.This is  like heaven on earth experience. Likewise we hardly miss the end show of the day before the curtain closes and the sun sets. Again in the horizon we see the explosion of colours – bright, orange and yellow and golden and sometimes the horizon looks pink.
Nature being the mother of all the colours, I cannot really pick one and discard others. The  butterfly tree with its purple flowers,orchids and plants, the busy butterflies and dragonflies; the dark sky with the stars as its jewels -all are very enchating.But now I realise that there is no such colour as your favourite. At least for me, if not for others. I have always felt biased when I had to pick only one. But now I feel that I cannot be a lawyer for one particular color. And so If I am to answer the question regarding the favourite colour, my reply would be ‘The Rainbow’ with its marvellous colours making the VIBGYOR. Also in a rainbow the seven colours are not present with stark separation but there is always a blurred space in between them, helping them merge together creating yet another beautiful band of colours. We do use colours like peach,beige, turquoise and many more.
It is absolutely true that God’s masterpieces are right in front of our eyes and the artists recreates that hidden magic in their art.

2. Why Blogging
I have always enjoyed dating my diaries, sharing them secrets; they knew me well.
Writing will always remain my everlasting crush.I have recorded so many incidents of my life which would have been erased if there were no ink or a paper. There were times when I would just stare at the blank pages thinking my past experiences to be so vast,not being able to dress the paper with blue ink. But with time my habit of writing rusted. It was only when lying in bed that I would hear my voice writing invisibly.
Fortunately, the last year in college really helped me find my lost rusted self. All I had to do was to put in the required fuel in it. It was then I wrote my first article in the Annual college magazine and then I realised how I could make myself happy without being dependent upon others.
Thereafter I never want to run short of this fuel that helps me recreate my life again.
I had no idea about blogging or wordpress till I opened one site with tutorials about blogging and sharing your writings. And then I created my blog and here I am writing, publishing and most importantly getting connected with writers around the globe. This was exactly what I had always wanted.

3. Any song that you know by heart.
“The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more. ”
Songs lifts up my soul. There is a huge range of artists whose songs I love to listen.
Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Adele, Ellie Goulding,Sia and so on .But this Nepali song by Ani Choying Dolma, never leaves my heart and mind. It goes like this-
“Phool ko akha ma phoolai sansaara,
Kaada ko aakha ma kaadai sansaara,
Jhulkincha hai Chaaya,bastu sansaara
Kaada ko akha ma kaadai sansaara,
Chitta sudha hosh mero boli Buddha hosh,
Mero Paitala le kirrai namaros
Ramro aakha ma phulcha ramrai sansaara
Kadda ko akha ma kaadai saamsara.”
(In the eyes of a flower,the world around is all flowers
In the eyes of a thorn,the world is all thorns;
you see the world the way you perceive it,
Every object has its own shadow,
In the eyes of a thorn,the world is all thorns
Let my mind be free of ill thoughts,
Let my speech match Buddha’s and
May my feet never harm a single insect
If one views the world with good eyes,the world around will always be good,
But in the eyes of a thorn,the world around it is all thorny.
….)

4. Worst fear.
I do not know exactly what my worst fear is. But I somehow feel its Time that flows like a river which makes you age beautifully and brings you very close to death. I don’t fear death but it is perhaps the time which gives you so much yet so little at the same time.

5. Do you have a pet? If yes whats the name and breed.
I have had pets in the past – cats and dogs. I just  love dogs them but presently I have none. I will surely pet one after I get a job because after our last dog died my grandpa doesn’t allow us to pet a dog. But we do have a cow in our house and a few months old calf whose name is Summer.

6. Greatest Asset.
To be able to live and taste the richness of life and to be born as as a human especially as a girl in the wonderful hills of India are some of the greatest assets in my life.
It was before last year during my Summer vacation after the exams, on a very windy wet day as usual, I found a wounded bird in our balcony which had fallen from its nest made in one of the trees of our garden. We knew something like this would happen because the tree was slender and not strong.
It was a Raven badly hurt, few steps and it would fall. With the help of my sister I made a cosy place for the bird to stay. I applied some powder, turmeric and oil in its wound and later made it have tiny flour-balls dipped in wild honey. In the evening, near the cow’s shed I had to collect earthworms and the dinner was a success. It was unbelievable that The little bird recovered so fast and we could hear it chirping in full volume. Everyone told me that the parents would no longer care because I had touched it,still I left  the box with the bird in it for its parents to see and it was like a miracle to see the parents bring bits of food(earthworms, grasshoppers, crickets,and so on) and put it in its beak for it to swallow. Oh! till then I didn’t know the red bits were actually red hot chillies. We all watched this lovely connection in silence. Later another baby bird too fell from its nest but it wasn’t hurt so I put it inside the same box where its sibling was. Oh the tiny bird fleas were horrible but the birds did well.

7. If you were to change anything about yourself, what would that be?
If I were to change anything about myself,that would be nothing because time changes us physically and mentally that we do not even realise that we have changed. Our life is a flux and memories and past experiences remains unchanged. And if I were to change my past, I would not be here blogging and sharing my experiences.
I am where I am today because of my past.
Friends, family, sisters, parents and grandparents; someone who loves you for who you are – I always feel the blessed hands of Almighty God above my head.

8. Your favourite Author.
When my favourite authors are innumerable like the stars in the sky,its hard to pick one, from Shakespeare,Bronte Sisters, Jane Austen, Mary Shelly, Virginia Woolf, Joyce and so on. But Anne Frank, the author with whose book (The Diary of a Young Girl) I developed my interest in reading and writing, is one of the brightest shining star. Another author whom I cannot forget is a Nepali author, mahakavi Laxshmi Prasad  Devkota whose ‘Muna-Madan’, can hardly be forgotten.
“Hath ko maila sunna ko thaila k garnu dhan le
Saag ra shishnu khayeko besha anandi maan le.”
(
“A bag of gold is like a dirt in our hands,
What is its worth when wealth is waste?
But a simple food,a simple life, heart tranquil and satiated is the best”)
Bishnukumari Waiba,famously known as Parijat is another woman Nepali writer born in the hills of Darjeeling whose poems and short stories we read in our vernacular class. But her best work “Sirishko phool”,translated in english as “The Blue Mimosa” is in my wish list.
In a range of infinite number of authors there are still others from whose work we explore and taste the world.I still have so less a life to discover the author’s secret in his book.

9. Have you ever experienced supernatural activity. If yes what was it?
As children we grew up listening stories, told by our grandparents and our parents, uncles and aunts. Still do I remember very vividly the times when we had to stay in kerosene lamps or lanterns with no electricity in our village.It was much later, we were served with Edison’s invention. But those times were blissful- children and adults gathering around the fire and every winter evening would always be a story time where one would share his story and usually the ghost stories were interesting. During those times of lanterns we enjoyed watching willo-the-wisp in the distant hills and how can I forget the shiny fire flies, they looked like stars on earth and we used to chase them sometimes being cruel, one would just stamp on it to see the shiny trail of sparks and a big scolding would follow us for killing the poor thing.
The elder members of our family always shares their supernatural experiences which definitely gives you a goosebumps and they are not myths because they have even  experienced together.
It was two years before, me and my cousin sister were watching a movie. We were only four people in the house including my grandparents whose bed time is usually 8. They had slept,lights off, volume low and we were watching the movie very interestingly. But my partner who is so very greedy about movies starting dozing very early that day and she could not help herself so she slept in the bedroom beside the living room. I still remember it was sharp 12′ midnight,the movie was about to end and a 2 minute break for ads started. It was then, I heard a creaking sound made from a nearby room and I supposed that my grandpa was awake. I knew,he would scold me for staying late so late at night ,so I hurriedly lowered the volume. But no grandpa didn’t open his door,he wasn’t awake. Again I heard the same sound a bit louder this time as if some heavy thing landed on the wooden floor. Still I didn’t think of any paranomal activities since my eyes were in the movie . But the third time, I felt my back swelling, I heard the loud sound, someone with a heavy weight, walking on the floor of the passage and marching forward. This was clear and I could hear the steps coming closer making a creaking agitated wooden noise. I knew if I stayed a little longer this thing whatever it may be would caught me.I could feel my sweat,I gathered all my strength and ran away inside my cousin’s room, pinched her too hard that she woke in a second. The sound too vanished. As a child, I have seldom heard footsteps coming from the ground floor slowly towards the first floor, the old wooden floor creaking sometimes as the steps took the stairs, the slow opening of the small wooden gate, and then it would pick up the lantern,only the sound would be heard because no light would reflect in the adjacent rooms and after picking up the lantern it would continue to walk upto the main door. I remember I used to cover myself with the quilt ,tightly hugging my mamma.
But this was something we became used to as we grew up and we weren’t scared. Grandma told us not be so as they were our ancestors.
Very rarely do we hear the footsteps now, but what I heard two years earlier was something very different and scary to the core.

10. What was your favourite hideout spot when you were a child.
It was below the stairs, an empty space which I shared with our dog Jonny who was much elder to us. It was my favorite hiding place while playing hide and seek and also the best place to scare someone passing by with a loud noise. Memories never get old.

I thank The Cliffhanger Chronicle  for these wonderful questions that made me travel back in times. And I never get tired to travel back. I enjoyed the invisible ride and the flashbacks, I got as I was printing them on the pages one after the other that I even forgot for a moment that time has brought me so far. But once again I got to excavate the long buried memories and was able to polish the characters in it,bringing them back to life even for a very short period of time.
Now I would like to nominate the following blogs for The Sunshine Blog Award-
1. http://toweararainbow.wordpress.com
2. http://lazyhazeblog.wordpress.com
3. http://musingandmytwocents.wordpress.com
4. http://mariamhyder.wordpress.com
5. http://lovelylyricism.wordpress.com
6. http://writingagirl.wordpress.com
7. http://theautotoriam.wordpress.com
8. http://lendraknott.wordpress.com
9. http://thoughtsnlifeblog.com

And here are my questions-
1.favourite destination?
2.your definition of love.
3. One incident that changed your life?
4. Your hobby?
5. Favourite book and why?
6. Your best childhood memories.
7. Favourite food
8. How do you welcome your day?
9. Do you believe in God?
10. Your definition of Death.

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